It’s 10 o’clock somewhere. Do you know if your children are mitochondrially challenged? That’s apparently one major reason why kids in America are so unwell, according to antivaxxer-turned-health-secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Kennedy made the wild claim at a bill signing ceremony in Texas held Wednesday. After saying that he knows what a healthy child looks like, he stated, “I’m looking at kids as I walk through the airports today, as I walk down the street, and I see these kids that are just overburdened with mitochondrial challenges, with inflammation—you can tell from their faces, from their body movements, and from their lack of social connection. And I know that’s not how our children are supposed to look.”

Though it might go without saying, there’s absolutely zero solid evidence that American kids’ mitochondria are being “challenged,” whatever on Earth that’s supposed to mean.

Factually challenged

Mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell, responsible for generating most of the energy a cell uses to carry out its tasks.

There are genuine medical conditions directly caused by dysfunctional mitochondria. These are typically rare and inherited genetic disorders, though some can take until adulthood for their symptoms to manifest. Other chronic conditions may cause or are associated with mitochondrial dysfunction, such as Alzheimer’s disease and even the normal aging process. In Alzheimer’s (and likely other diseases), damaged mitochondria could very well be a contributing factor to the progression of the disease and its symptoms.

These real conditions are not proof that everyone’s mitochondria are on the fritz, however, much less the mitochondria of the nation’s kids. Scientists are still trying to understand the role of our mitochondria in certain chronic health problems—research that’s very much still in its infancy. In many cases, for instance, impaired mitochondria could simply be a marker of a disease, not a causative trigger, so attempting to “fix” it wouldn’t even help treat someone’s underlying illness.

This lack of certainty hasn’t stopped alternative medicine practitioners and other flavors of medical quacks from turning so-called mitochondrial dysfunction into a popular bogeyman for all that plagues us—the same crowds that RFK Jr. is most popular with. There’s now a rich world of untested supplements and other treatments marketed to boost your mitochondria.

It should also go without saying that no one, least of all a brainworm-addled health secretary, can tell whether someone’s mitochondria are in trouble by staring at their faces.

A Dangerous Distraction

Kennedy’s comments are only the latest sign that the HHS chief cares little about the actual issues facing the country. And his “Make America Healthy Again” agenda has repeatedly focused on unsupported and often meaningless explanations for Americans’ ailing health.

RFK Jr. and his HHS have regularly endorsed removing certain artificial food dyes from ice cream, fast food, and candy snacks, for instance. And one of the bills he celebrated during the signing ceremony will require food manufacturers in Texas to post labels warning people that their products contain some of these dyes and other common additives.

Leaving aside the weak evidence tying these dyes to health problems, these foods are primarily unhealthy due to high levels of sugar, salt, and fat. To put it bluntly, that bag of M&Ms is not suddenly going to become a health food because its colors are all naturally sourced. Other common ingredients singled out by RFK Jr., like seed oils, have even less evidence of potential harm; some seed oils are probably healthier than other popular alternatives.

RFK Jr. has also succeeded in removing or heavily restricting access to several vaccines, including the mRNA covid-19 vaccines that quite literally saved millions of lives during the pandemic. These decisions have been so disastrous that they fueled the implosion of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Several top CDC officials have resigned or been fired this week, including its director, because RFK Jr. and his allies circumvented the CDC and the typical evidence-reviewing process in pushing through their vaccine policy changes.

RFK Jr.’s inane ramblings are easy to poke fun at. But his nonsensical beliefs have become the driving force behind the country’s public health agenda. And everyone, including kids with perfectly healthy mitochondria, is now going to suffer as a result.