You basically know exactly what you’re going to get with Anaconda. Jack Black and Paul Rudd star as two friends who decide they’re going to make a low-budget remake of the 1997 cult classic Anaconda, starring Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube. That is, until they actually encounter a giant, killer anaconda. From there, film fans can probably see the whole thing in their head. It’s a goofy comedy, it’s meta, and eventually, this would-be remake will become a real-life remake.
What you don’t know is if any of that works, and the answer is “Sort of.” This new Anaconda has all the right intentions. The idea is clever, the actors are funny, and the story has a surprising amount of twists and turns. However, everything about the movie feels rushed and pieced together, with gaping plot holes, jumps in logic, and effects that look intentionally cheesy, for better or worse. Normally, that would all be a bad thing, but here, it oddly fits into the ethos of the movie you’re watching, as well as the movie within the movie you’re watching. Can a bad movie be good if the movie is supposed to be bad? We aren’t quite sure.
In Anaconda, Rudd plays Griff, a struggling actor in Los Angeles who makes a surprise trip back to his hometown of Buffalo to see his good friend Doug (Black) on his birthday. The two reconnect and reminisce about the good old days when they, along with their friends Claire (Thandiwe Newton) and Kenny (Steve Zahn), would make low-budget movies. So, in an attempt to bring the gang back together, Griff reveals he’s acquired the rights to the original Anaconda, and the group is off to the races.
At the start, Anaconda does a solid job of providing laughs as we are slowly eased into this semi-complex meta-narrative. The balance between the humor, character, and plot is strong. Which makes sense considering the film was co-written and directed by Tom Gormican, who did the excellent meta Nicolas Cage/Pedro Pascal film The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. However, once the group heads off to the Amazon and the story loops back in with a seemingly random, unrelated cold open, everything goes a little off the rails.
The laughs become a little more prevalent but don’t always work as well. Horror elements get thrown into the mix, including some admittedly solid jump scares, but feel a little out of place. The film has seemingly no intention of keeping that balance of plot, humor, horror, and logic all synced up, as long as it’s got something to flash in front of your eyes. This can also be seen, and heard, from the film’s copious use of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.” A new remix, focusing heavily on the line “My anaconda don’t want none,” is fun to start, but after it repeats again and again, major eye rolls are warranted.
And yet, while not all of the laughs or scares work, the ones that do really do. There’s an extended scene about urinating that had me howling. Some of the fake filmmaking scenes are delightfully goofy. Plus, the story has four or five big shifts you won’t see coming that keep the movie fresh and interesting. There’s also this undercurrent of cinema appreciation, which adds a few extra smiles on top of everything else.
Which is to say there’s about as much to like about Anaconda as there is to dislike. By the end, what was once fresh, unpredictable, and fun becomes a little more straightforward and obvious, leading to a big finish that’s as enjoyable as it is completely stupid.
Neither Rudd nor Black does their best work here, as each coasts by on their considerable likability. They’re not bad; they’re just Paul Rudd and Jack Black, which is enough. Thandiwe Newton gives a slightly weirder, more self-aware performance that makes her stand out from the group. And yet, they’re all outshone by Steve Zahn. The White Lotus and Silo star delivers an intense, hilarious, perfect performance, stealing basically every scene he’s in. Together, the four make a formidable nucleus for the film and almost hold it together all on their own.
And so, when you combine all that, what do you get? Basically, Anaconda isn’t awful, but it’s not great either. It’s a little bit scary, but only in spurts. It can also be hilariously funny, but not consistently. You’ll shake your head at the wild twists it takes, only to nod disapprovingly at others. It’s a perfect case study in a movie that has everything going for it on paper, never quite works, but still provides adequate entertainment. And, if you happen to know a lot about the 1997 Anaconda, it might work even better.
Anaconda is in theaters on Christmas Day.
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